All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
