sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
