He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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