Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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