hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Damn victory sex feels great
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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