im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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