It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
