Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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