butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
