what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
