I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
