I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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