Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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