SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
