If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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