this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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