You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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