i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
