Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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