So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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