im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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