is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
