i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
