In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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