it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
