I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
