is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
