i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
