Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
