This is not my ceiling
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize