So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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