Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
