I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
