Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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