If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
