Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
