I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
