Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
