who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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