If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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