i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
