Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
