I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
