My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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