Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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