I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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