i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
P.S. I can't hear my feet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
