But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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