Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
