Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The struggles of a small town man whore
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
