May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
