You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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