She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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