I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All I want is dick and wine.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
