got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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