im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"