Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.