I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz