Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.