just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
that's an acceptable place to lick
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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