So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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