508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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