Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
