We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Fuck appropriateness.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
