69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
sex in a hospital.. check
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
