I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
