And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
