he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
