she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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