the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
